One of the worst, awkward, or embarrassing things is when someone disrespects you. You know it is wrong of them to do it, so what should you do?
A person has disrespected you behind your back. This scenario is not as bad as it may seem. If someone spreads a rumour about you, is it your fault if others believe it? No. Would you deserve backlash for it? No. Simply dispel the rumour to each person who confronts you and if they don’t side with you, then there’s no reason to tolerate them. Why tolerate those who aren’t on the right side?
If this situation occurred with anyone you don’t rely upon, do not tolerate them. Some disrespects are in the moment. For someone to disrespect you behind your back, they had to be thinking of it for a long time.
If someone disrespects you in person, first take a look at them. Are they conscious? If they aren’t conscious, you can simply tell them their skull must empty. There’s no reason to take a drunk person personally.
For sake of worse case scenario that the person disrespecting you isn’t drunk, suppose you ran into your wife’s ex-boyfriend and they make a comment about her.
Then tell the person calmly,
- That was a very disrespectful statement/comment.
- You’re being really disrespectful
If you have any power at all, then you could get away with
- Do not be so disrespectful henceforth
- I’ll remember this
Sometimes, if the person is self-conscious or at heart a good person, they will correct themselves. If you are not ready to forgive someone, it is well within your right to refuse forgiving the other person.
Forgiveness is something earned, not given! I don’t know who is spreading this lie to “forgive but always remember.” Forgive those who deserve it, never forget it, and never hold a grudge. This is the true way. Sometimes it is impossible to tell if someone is worthy of forgiveness (no human is God) and in that case, it is best to avoid/prevent them from making any meaningful transgression against you (i.e. walk away).
Other times, the disrespectful person is either not mature or does not understand that being disrespectful by default is straight up incorrect. Let’s assume they respond with
And? Why should I care? What are you going to do about it?
At this point, the person has shown their arrogance. They are worthy of being disrespected back. It’s possible they will learn their mistake with time, however life is not baseball. Two strikes is all it takes to be out.
If this interaction occurred online, there is no need to tolerate this individual.
Likewise, if they are a stranger or someone you don’t have to deal with often, there’s no point in continuing the conversation. They aren’t worthy of your time.
Otherwise, you should really improve your wit to give them a taste.
If the other person gets physical about it, then they’ve lost.
If this other person is in a position of power, the situation gets super tricky. You need to look at where you see yourself in the future, and if it’s not good, there’s no reason to tolerate the person. If you’re life can’t get any worse without them, then don’t tolerate their attitude.
Adversely, if your future looks good, then you will need to figure out a way to cope and focus on getting through short-term disrespect. Life isn’t fair and you do have to deal with it. Once you are in the future you imagined, you will have the choice to not tolerate them.
I leave you with a question. If you had to choose between $3M at 55 and your mental health security until that age, what will you choose? Is that much money worth the mental strain until that age? I think that I’m willing to tolerate a certain amount of mental fatigue in terms of stalling, but no more than that.
Mental stability is something that requires upkeep. It’s the activity of walking straight down a path, and the worse that path is, the more effort is needed to maintain that stability. I’m not one to put my mental stability at grave risk. Especially when my wants in life are affordable and attainable without hitting the jackpot.